Hey guys, how you doing?
LOL, I bet you all have given up on me.
I did get all your encouraging emails to continue writing
but I failed. I failed this blog. I failed myself. Once upon a time my blog was
the only beautiful thing about my life and then I got a job and expectations
started to rise and so much pressure started arising and then I lost my will to
write.
I apologise.
I sincerely apologise.
Y’all were rooting for me in your own little way and I
failed you.
I do hope you guys get to read this piece though.
Straight to the topic that finally got me writing again.
Today I am going to be talking about value systems and how it is important to
always always know your worth and not compromise on the quality that you
associate yourself with.
Recently, I met this random person. We are going to call him Mr X. We got talking via social media and finally, I decided to meet with him. You know, take this conversation to the real world. Turns out he is a really cool dude and all. He's well spoken, well put together and just my exact spec (FYI, I don't judge people based on their physical attributes. I judge them based on the strength of their character).
Thing is, after my last relationship that didn't quite work out, I gave up on men and love. They don't deserve me (insert a straight face smiley here please). For real though. I just felt like it wouldn't hurt to get the minutest form of attention from a man, now would it?
After seeing him four different times, I noticed two distinct things. The quality of date venues he took me to kept declining. Also, the amount of money he gives me for transportation also kept declining. My take on this is that, the more he saw me, I mean the more I made myself readily available, the more he slipped. Like he must be thinking "She's not all that, why put in so much effort to impress her?"
For me, way I value people/ relationships is that I won't create time for you if you are not contributing to my life positively. Likewise, the more I see someone, the more I tend to give to the person. Yes, I am a loner but if I choose to spend time with you then it is because I value you and see something in you (this is not even love related. Chill).
Now, It is not the money he gives me that is the main issue (it is an issue nonetheless), it is how comfortable he seems to be. Thing is, it is not easy trying to restructure a person's mindset on what his value system should look like. It is a learned behaviour that takes a lot to alter. That is the reason why I decided to write this piece.
Look, I rate myself. I am not beautiful. I am not robustly endowed but I am not ordinary. I am not basic. I am smart, I am goodlooking, I am sound, I am entertaining. I am not silver. I am not an economy ticket. I am fucking GOLD. G-O-L-D! Now, it would have been easy for me to say "Oh, I enjoy his company and I will see how this pans out". Guess what? I am not settling. I will not say because the only serious man I currently like resides in Abuja and is not readily available to me I will continue with this dude. Lol. I know my value and it surely doesn't match his value proposition so I am moving on.
My story might not be entirely similar to yours but I am hoping you get the drift. Queen, don't settle. Don't plead the case of the half bread. Stick to your value. Be true to yourself. Don't let anybody price your market. Your market value should always be on the rise. Keep bettering yourself. Keep working on yourself. Keep pushing the limits of what is obtainable.
Dear Queen, you are not ordinary. Your scars make you even more beautiful. You are no silver. You are pure gold. Thing is, I can't brainwash you to believe this. I can only hope that one day you get to that point in your life where you realise that going after temporal happiness will never fulfil you and the way other people treat you is dependent on how you treat yourself.
And that is it!
XOXO,
The lagos rebel.